


Forsaken

by katiedid55



Category: NCIS
Genre: AUness, Angst, Happy Ending, M/M, Mpreg, OOC Gibbs, OOC Tony, Past grief - Freeform, Talk of stillbirth, attempted suicide, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-27 11:25:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2691146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katiedid55/pseuds/katiedid55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That second B, for bastard, is Tony's greatest fear in life.  Could it ruin his entire life by taking away his dreams. Happy ending, I promise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The second Gibbs said the name of the dish Ziva had made for her dinner party I realized what had happened. Everyone had been invited except me.

"I think I know when I am not welclme. Ziva I'll take a rain check on that dinner. Never. I'm headed home for the night Boss." I then grabbed my bag and stalked off to the elevator, making sure not to jostle my hurt arm. Once I had slammed my bag into the trhnk of my car I got in and locked all the doors before screaming to try and release the built up emotions in my chest that were making it hard to breathe. It didn't help, it made it worse. I drove home haphazardly.

I trudged up the stairs to my apartment and locked the door before I collapsed on my couch and didn't move.

I woke up the next morning with a very sore neck and someone pounding on my door.

"Open up, damn it!" Gibbs called. I stumbled over and unlocked the door to open it. "I want you dressed and in my car in ten minutes DiNozzo." He snarled before marching away. I knew he wouldn't take any crap, and that only his definition of crap counted. Well I had ten minutes and I knew exactly what to do with it. I locked the door and ran to my pack. I grabbed my work knife and ran to my bathroom where I locked the door and slide down to wall to sit. Without anymore hesitation I ripped the blade up the insides of my arms from wrist to elbow. The knife clattered loudly to the floor as my grip became weak. My vision faded out slowly.

"Tony..." I heard the call like it was a whisper and I chuckled weakly.

"Too late. And I'm not sorry." I coughed. It was too late... too... late... too... beep... beep... beep... beep.

"Tony I am so sorry. I didn't realize what I did was so horrible, but I know now and I am so sorry I did this to you." It took a couple minutes, but I finally recognized the voice.

"Ziva, it's 'kay. You didn't shoot me." I mumbled.

"Tony? I am calling the doctor to tell him you are awake." While Ziva was talking to the nurse I cracked open my eyes. I was in a soft bed and I was warm. There were bright lights above me.

"So you finally woke up, that's good Tony." I glanced over to see Dr. Pitt. I grinned loopily at him and he came over to bend over me.

"The transfusions worked well, the stitches are holding and your blood pressure is back to a normal level for you, in a few days you will be able to transfer." Brad stepped back and only then did I realise he had been poking at my forearms.

"Tranfer?" I asked in a scratchy voice.

"To Bethesda Naval Psychiatric Hospital." Brad nodded. I stared at him for a long moment.

"Has NCIS change their protocol on psych evals after a shooting?" I asked with a half grin.

"No Tony, but attempted suicides are quite serious. Your director fought to get you treated at the naval base rather than a civilian hospital, so take that into consideration and do your best to get better while you're there." Brad then stepped from the room leaving me with a horrible sinking sensation in my stomach.

"Is that why Gibbs isn't here?" I asked Ziva. "I thought I was shot... but he would be here if that's all it was. I tried to kill myself and so he isn't going to sit with me." Ziva reached over to take my hand and while I felt her warmth my hand felt numb. I felt light headed and my vision greyed out before Ziva could say anything. I must have passed out from the shock.

@#$$#@

"You're transfering today. Good luck and I will be very happy to see you when you are doing better." Dr. Pitt murmured. I felt hollow inside and to me he seemed like a cardboard cut out, not real anymore even though I had thought of him as a friend before.

I went with the two attendants from the naval base, they seemed more like guards to me as they sat on either side of me in the back of the white van. The van went over a large bump and the resulting crashing sound brought up the image of my arms bleeding heavily as my knife slipped to the floor. I freaked out and they sedated me quickly. I spent the rest of the ride quoting movies that were about insane people. The doctor on base was Dr. Sam.

"Dr. Sammy." I whispered.

"Yes Tony?" he asked gently.

"I see dead people." I whispered. He didn't appear to understand it was a quote and he wrote a note down. After that I stayed quiet, I needed to get out and prove to Gibbs that I was strong.

@#$$#@

Tim and Abby visited every week, but after the fourth visit where I quoted A Beautiful Mind too many times Tim stopped coming. Abby came every Sunday like I was a part pf her religion. The only thing I hated was that if I asked about Gibbs she would immediately leave. Those were the nights I cried myself to sleep. After twelve weeks they asked Abby to stop coming.

@#$$#@

"I believe it would benefit you more to be transfered to a civilian hospital. There you won't be reminded of the navy or your old job." Dr. Sammy told me. I was transferred the next day and that was the last time I spoke more than one word sentences.

@#$$#@

"They told us you were doing better here, without all the reminders. All I can see is that you truly are broken now." Ziva told me. I smiled and hugged her while humming my favorite cartoon theme song, from the one about the animals that could walk and talk like humans. I then showed her what I did every day, because my doctor told me to and he knew what he was doing, because he was a doctor.

"Ziva... visit." I frowned. "Tomorrow?" I asked. Ziva hugged me and when she pulled back her eyes were misty.

"Of course I'll visit tomorrow Tony. I'll bring Abby too." I lit up happily at that thought and went back to drawing the same pair of blue eyes that haunted my dreams every night.

@#$$#@

"It's been weeks and he improves every day with your visits. We are just worried because he has nightmares and cries himself to sleep and screams for a man named Jethro." My doctor was talking to Ziva around the corner and they didn't know I was there. I huddled against the wall with my arms wrapped around my very thin waist.

"Gibbs was our boss at NCIS. He never asks about Tony. I am afraid to tell Tony that Gibbs found someone. Gibbs married four times in the past, all women, but this time it is a male and he could be Tony's twin. He has asked Trent to marry him." I sank to the ground and screamed.

"No! No! No!" I screamed hitting my head back against the wall with each scream. I was sedated and carried back to bed.

"Oh Tony." Ziva whispered as I curled around a pillow, sobbing desperarely.

"Go 'way. Stay 'way." I sobbed. Her hand touched my shoulder but I flinched away and she left without another word.

@#$$#@

I heard shouting in the hall. I heard my name. I shuffled out into the hall with my arms wrapped around me like always, I pretended it was someone else's strong arms around me.

"Minnie?" I asked softly. My nurse spun and took my arm as she tried to pull me back into my room.

"Come on Tony, right now is not a good time for you to be here." She murmured gently.

"If you think I'm letting you near him after all this time you had better get your own head checked. He's been here nearly a year and you haven't called or visited. Did you know he screams for you when he wakes up from nightmares? Did you know he cries himself to sleep, rocking and muttering your name? No you didn't know because you didn't care. I am not letting you destroy what little is left of my patient's life. Get out." My doctor was nearly yelling at someone. I looked back and met two ice blue eyes with my own.

"J-Jethro!" I cried. I ripped away from my nurse and dashed down the hall smiling and laughing as I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him tightly. "You've come to get me out? You know I hate hospitals, the food here is awful." I laughed against his shoulder as I curled my body against his.

"Jesus DiNozzo. You're thin as a twig." Gibbs muttered as he tried to push me away. My doctor gently pulled me back and I happily grinned at my old boss while ignoring my reflection in the mirror next to him.

"Tony Mr. Gibbs isn't here to take you away. He was just leaving." My doctor tried to steer me away, but I refused to move.

"DiNozzo I came to show Trent that he is not your replacement like everyone says." I grinned and shook my head.

"That's cause no one can replace me, right boss?" I asked happily bouncing on my toes.

"No DiNozzo, its because there is no one to replace. I am marrying Trent. You are staying here where you can be taken care of by professionals." Gibbs lifted the hand of my reflection that he was holding. I smiled when I saw the masculine ring set with emeralds. Then I saw a thin scar crossing the back of the hand. I frowned and looked down. My hand was not scarred there. My muscles all gave up at the same time and I hit the ground like a sack of bricks while my mind was completely and utterly blank, saving me from the emotions I knew should be hurting me.

"No." I whispered.

 

"NO!" I screamed. I sat up so quickly I fell of the soft bed I was on and landed on the ground. I shuffled back into a corner and curled up.

"Tony, love?" A soft male voice asked through the darkness. I looked up to see two soft blue eyes peering at me from only inches away. Finally the dream melted away and I realized that it really had only been a dream. I launched myself into the arms of my lover and sighed in content as those strong arms wrapped around me.

"It was that stupid dream again. The one where I tried to kill myself and you married my evil twin that doesn't really exist." I mumbled against his shoulder.

"That's the sixth time this month. Tony I think we should see if you are sick, not mentally." He hurried to say when I stiffened. "Illness can make dreams more vivid." He explained. I nodded and buried my face in his neck. Jethro pulled me back into the bed and curled me up against his chest. "Tony I will never replace you, I promise. There are a thousand reasons why, but two are the most important. The first is I have you here right where you belong. There's no reason for me to look anywhere else. And second I love you with all my heart." His hand gently brushed through my slightly shaggy hair.

"I love you too Jet." I mumbled against his skin. "I'm sorry I'm so needy." I snuggled closer as his arms tightened.

"Tony I will never get tired of telling you that I love you. I need to feel needed so its good you are needy." I laughed softly which was what he was going for.

"I'll never get tired of hearing that you love me, but Jet, will you make love to me?" I asked timidly. Jethro didn't answer instead he lifted my face to his and kissed me slow at first, but when he flipped us so I was under him his lips became demanding and possessive. I whimpered into the kiss as he started to undress us both. By the time he pulled back to let me breathe we were both naked. His hands guided my legs to part and before I even caught my breath two fingers, slick with lube, were slipping inside me. I whined as he scissored his fingers and soon the teasing was too much.

"Jet, please! I need you now... gah!" I grunted when he gripped my waist and yanked me down towards him. I wrapped my legs around his waist and even though he tried to enter me gently and slowly I tightened my legs around him and forced him into me quickly. I arched and moaned very loudly, causing him to chuckle which made me blush. I met his warm loving gaze and blushed brighter. "I needed to feel it." I explained. He nodded and bent to kiss me again as he began thrusting. No words were spoken as he pounded me into the mattress. I was so loud I was blushing the whole time, but I didn't break eye contact with him. My nails were dighing into his shoulders and must have been hurting, but he seemed spurred on by it. When he began nailing my prostate with each thrust I knew he was close. I arched and whined and whimpered, but he didn't relent.

"Please! Let me come. Let me come!" I whined through my clenched teeth finally closing my eyes as my head bucked back. I knew better than to touch myself, Jethro like to see me fall apart from his cock alone.

"Say you'll marry me." Jethro grunted back. My eyes flew open to meet his heated gaze. I nearly screamed in pleasure when he hit my prostate again and at his grin I knew my answer.

"Yes... yes always yes forever yes!" I cried out. Jethro thrust one last time and as my body clenched and bucked I felt his heat fill me up. The world disappeared behind a blanket of fuzzy white light and when I came back to earth Jethro was sliding back into bed and pulling the blankets over our suddenly clean bodies.

"Ah, you are alive again. You told me you had gone to heaven and it wasn't as interesting as you thought it would be." Jethro laughed. I blushed and hid against his chest. He held me securely and as we drifted to sleep I realized something.

I was quite content.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited continuation. Sorry for the cliff at the end. I'll upload the next chapter soon. My writers block seems to have lifted for now. "Knock on wood"

When I woke up the next morning I felt more rested than I had in a few weeks. I whined as I stretched and slumped back to the bed and cuddled up against the very warm body next to me. I heard a soft chuckle and a large hand ran through my hair.

"Shh pillow. Still sleeping." I mumbled and gave the chest under my cheek a kiss. Another chuckle rumbled under my ear and I groaned then yawned and snuggled closer. We lay like that for a few minutes or it could have been a lot longer, I had no idea I just knew I was warm and happy and safe.

When the stomach attached to my 'pillow' began growling I laughed and looked up. Jethro was laying there smiling at me, his blue eyes soft and happy. It was a refreshing sight after nearly five years of only seeing anger and pain in ice cold, hard eyes. I hummed happily and Jethro continued his stroking of my hair.

"We should get up." My voice was still gruff with sleep. Jethro's eyes darkened and suddenly I was yanked up so his mouth could dominate mine. I whimpered and allowed him to completely take over the kiss and when he pulled back I was gasping for breath and aroused.

"Wait here, I'll bring you breakfast in bed." Jethro murmured and kissed me once more. I watched him leave in a daze and stretched again, limply falling against the pillows, grinning happily as I heard him clattering around downstairs. I thought about all the different ways he went out of his way to make me happy, and even though I protested and tried to do things for him, he seemed happiest when he was making me happy. I finally understood it was because Shannon had been taken away and he had never had a chance to be with her and be happy, he had lived more of his life mourning his girls than he had actually had time with them. And now here I was giving him a chance again and now I understood that he was grateful for that chance and was doing his best to show his gratitude.

"Now I can do the same for him." I whispered softly. I looked down at my flat stomach and grinned brightly. I could give my wonderful Jet something much better than myself and I couldn't wait to tell him. Though I needed to wait just a little bit longer, the time wasn't right yet.

"What are you thinking?" Jethro asked with a smile. I looked up to see him standing in the doorway with a large tray of food.

"Just that I'm happy." I replied quite honestly, even though it wasn't the whole truth. "You make me so happy Jet. I want to make you just as happy. I swear if there was anything you wanted I would do it for you." I pulled myself up into a sitting position and Jethro set the tray onto the bed and straddled my lap. He then trapped my hands under his body and grinned mischeivously when I looked puzzled.

"Right now I want you to stay still and let me feed you." He rumbled a laugh as I pouted. He then reached over and picked up a bit of food. I didn't look away from those blue eyes that were my world as I took a bite of the sausage and chewed then swallowed. Jethro smirked as I chased after the next bite and then licked his fingers clean.

"Of course I'm already the happiest man on earth now that you've agreed to marry me. Although I do need to get you a ring. I had planned to do some thing a little more romantic, but last night was just too perfect to pass on." Jet gave me a self depreciating grimace as he continued feeding me.

"It was perfect. You are perfect for me. I don't care if my ring is made of straw you make me happier than anything in the world possibly could." I smiled. Jethro leaned down to kiss me and unfortunately placed a hand on my stomach and pushed down harder than I was comfortable with. I squirmed uncomfortably and flushed when he pulled back to look at me in confusion. "Sorry, my stomach is a bit... sensitive right now. Just don't put too much pressure or weight on it." I tried to give him a reassuring grin, but those blue eyes saw right through me as they always do.

"Tony, you swore to me once that you would never lie to me." Jethro pulled back, climbed off me and sat on the bed staring down at me where I didn't even have the courage to sit up.

"I... Jet I won't lie I'm just... I'm not ready to tell you. I'm scared." I whispered. He stared at me for a long minute then reached down and stroked a hand through my hair.

"I can wait Tony, but I need to know if its something that hurts you. I'll do anything for you and nothing can make me turn you away not even bad health... although bad breath is another story." Jethro suddenly grinned and I laughed in a startled way.

"No its not bad for my health though..." I slowly sat up and suddenly churning nausea built low in my stomach and I clapped a hand over my mouth. I looked at Jethro and his worried expression then I leapt off the bed and ran to the small master bathroom just feet from our bed. I got only to the sink before I threw up everything he had managed to feed me and then stomach acid when no more food was left.

"Tony..." Jethro stood leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed and the most angry, yet worried and scared, expression I had seen in a while.

"Jethro I... I know this looks bad but just trust me. Please." I begged. I rinsed my mouth out and then pulled out my tooth brush.

"Tony you know I can't just do that. Especially after Jenny." I paused and looked over as I lifted my toothbrush to my mouth.

"I didn't think..." I whispered.

"No, you didn't." Jethro murmured. I felt my jaw drop open then I let my tooth brush clatter into the sink. Jethro sighed and then ran a hand through his hair. "Tony, I didn't mean it that way." He sighed and leaned against the doorway.

"Then how did you mean it?" I asked softly. "Tell me how on earth that was meant in any other way. So I'm just supposed to accept that you believe I don't think? That I don't consider every angle and overanalyze actions and reactions until I drive myself crazy trying to think of what to do? That I don't sit there and watch you make your boat and think that I'm not good enough for you?" I slammed my toothbrush into the caddy and almost slapped the water faucet off. "What else don't I think of, huh Boss? What else don't I consider?" I turned to glare at him and he was watching me with a near blank face. But his eyes were filled with pain. "Please Jet, please don't ever say something like that again." I begged. He nodded and then opened his arms to me. I gladly melted into his arms and pushed my face into his neck. "I hate fighting with you." I mumbled as his hands rubbed my back. "Can we just forget this whole thing?" I whispered as I pulled back.

"I wish I could, but I still need to know why you are sick." Jethro answered gently. I nodded and sighed, maybe waiting would be a bad idea. Especially since he was now suspicious.

"We should probably sit down for this." I suggested in a barely calm voice. I felt my heart start to beat faster so I quickly led us to the bed where I sat facing him while he crounched in front of me. My hands were shaking as I reached up to comb through my hair.

"Tony, whatever it is we can handle it together." Jethro gently placed his hand on my knee.

"I know, that's not the problem. My problem is that I don't know how you will take this and I don't know if its something you want or have even thought about and its the worst thing possible to just spring on you in surprise. And I don't want you to be angry because if you are everything will fall apart and I couldn't take it if that happened and losing you would be like... I would feel like killing myself except I wouldn't be able to and... and..." I took a deep breath. "I'm scared Gibbs." I whispered. Suddenly his arms were around me and he was holding me on his lap on the bed, rocking gently.

"DiNozo just tell me please." He pressed a kiss to my temple which helped calm me some. For a while I just breathed in his scent and stopped my panic from overwhelming me. When I was ready I finally opened my mouth.

"I'm pregnant." I whispered. Jethro stilled, so still I knew he had heard me. We sat like that for several too long minutes and just as I was about to launch a full blown panic attack I felt a small drop land on my neck. I reached up to feel it and found it was a tear. I looked up quickly to see Jethro with his eyes closed and his head bowed. I tried to pull off his lap but his arms tightened and then a hand slipped down to palm my still flat stomach.

"Please Tony. For the love of god please promise me you aren't lying or mistaken. I couldn't take it if you were." Jethro whispered.

"I'm not lying and I'm not wrong. I'll take another test and show you if you need me to." I promised. I reached up to cup his cheeks. "I was taught my whole life how to be the perfect wife of some politician. All the signs are there, the cravings the mood swings the vivid dreams... and just there's this feeling that I'm helping a little baby grow..." I shook my head. "It is hard to describe." He laughed as I shrugged.

"Would you take a test? I would prefer a doctor to confirm rather than a drug store test." Jethro pleaded as if I would tell him no.

"I would do anything to prove it to you. I love you Jet and I know how much this means to you." I murmured and kissed his stubbled chin.

A few minutes later found us at an urgent care clinic. I had done the urine test and now we were waiting in a small room for the doctor to come in and tell us the results. I was steadily getting more nervous and anxious as each second ticked by on the clock across from us.

"Jethro, what if I'm wrong? What if I'm just sick? What if-" Jethro grabbed my chin and kissed me hard.

"Don't worry Tony. We will get through whatever happens, together." He reassured me. "I taught you to trust your instincts and you did. Now we just wait for the solid evidence to prove you right." He reached for my hand and pressed his slightly dry lips to my knuckles. I smiled back, still tense, and nervously figited in my seat until the dreaded moment came.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lol realised I missed the first half of the chapter on my upload. Sorry!
> 
> Dedicated to ShadowWolfsDen, thank you for kicking my butt into finishing this chapter. You're a hun <3.

The only warning of my impending doom was a soft knock on the wooden door of the exam room we were in. The door opened to reveal a friendly smiling woman in her thirties who greeted us with a wide smile.

"Hello, you must be Tony. And who have you brought with you?" She shook my hand first then held her hand out to Jethro.

"Meet my fiance, Leroy Jethro Gibbs." I introduced. I felt such a rush at announcing him as my fiance.

"Nice to meet you both, my name is Dr. Sandra Gallagher. Now before we go over the test results I need some basic information. I already know your height weight and age. I have a few more questions to ask about family medical history and general health information." She explained professionally as she tied her long black hair back with a hair tie and then used a pump of hand sanitizer. I answered each question she shot at me to the best of my knowledge and also slightly frustrated, since I just wanted to know if I was pregnant with an ache that filled my chest to the point that it grew hard to breathe.

"Alright, now I have a full updated file on you, we can talk about your test results. We did a full hormone screening of your urine sample and I am very happy to tell you that you are indeed pregnant." She paused to give us a moment to process. It took me all of a second before I was bursting into happy tears. I grabbed Jet's face and kissed him soundly on the lips. His arms wrapped around me and with breathtaking strength he lifted me over the arms of our chairs and into his lap. I broke the kiss and buried my face in his shoulder, hiccuping with joy.

"I take it this news is very welcome." Dr. Gallagher chuckled. I met her smiling brown eyes and nodded through my lingering tears.

"You have no idea how much this means to us." I smiled so widely my cheeks began hurting.

"Alrighty, let's get you scheduled for a check up in the next week, just a regular thing for pregnancy. Also I recommend a vitamin supplement with folic acid and other prenatal nutrients you will need. Just a one a day. I'll give you a few of my preferred brands so you know what to look for. You need to get daily, light exercise. I know as an agent you are used to more physically demanding workouts, but for the next eight to nine months you will need to take it a bit easier. I want you to stay on desk duty towards the end of your pregnancy, we will narrow down the exact date as we go along. Do you have any questions for now?" She asked with a bright smile.

"Can we do an ultrasound? I know we won't see much of anything yet, but I want to see our baby. So I can be sure." I asked tentatively.

"Of course. I'll send the order through to our technician and we will get you set up in the other room. It might be a bit of a wait, but we can sneak you in." She reassured me. I nodded with a sigh of relief. I couldn't quite believe it until I saw it. I was so happy at just hearing it from the doctor, but I had to see for myself. We waited in the room for thirty more minutes before another nurse came in and guided us to a darker room where I was helped into a laying down position and told to raise my shirt. I did as told and jumped when the nurse tucked a soft towel into the band of my jeans before slowly squirting slightly warm gel onto my stomach. She then used the ultrasound wand to smooth it out before really starting the scan.

"Alright, give me a moment to find your jelly bean..." I giggled nervously and Jet reached forward to grasp my hand. "Aha, I'll snap a couple pictures now that I've got them." I looked over to see and she helpfully pointed at really what looked like a jelly bean on the screen. "That is your baby, Tony. They are about an inch long at this point so that's in line with the stated two months that you told us you suspected. Everything looks healthy, the placenta looks good and the amniotic sac is also perfect. You have a very healthy baby growing in you." She gave me a wide smile when I laughed in relief. "I'll get those printed for you." She wiped the gel off my stomach then left while I fixed my clothes.

"The doctor wants us to schedule a few appointments then we can go." Jethro murmured as I looked around, a little lost as to what to do. We headed out to the receptionist and scheduled several advance appointments.

"Here are your ultrasound pictures. I circled your baby on two of them." The nurse informed me just as we were about to leave.

I clutched the folder of pictures carefully, the entire way home.

"Jethro... how are we going to tell the team?" I asked hesitantly. "What are we going to tell them?" I panicked and began thinking through all the possibilities. I found myself wishing Kate were here. She would have teased me for getting knocked up, but would have supported both of us. With Ziva on the team and having her background in Isreal where even though men could get pregnant it was forbidden I had no idea how she would react. Hate? Fear? Violence?

"Tony!" I jerked my head around to stare at my grey hair lover. "Everything will be fine. We'll invite them over for dinner one night and tell everyone at the same time. We need to put in notice with the agency though and I want you on desk duty by next month. I will not risk your and the baby's health just because you need a thrill." I met stern blue eyes and knew that this would be a sore discussion over the next few months. There's was no way I would endanger my baby, but I didn't want to be stuck to a chair for the next seven months.

At the moment though I was too happy to fight over it so I just shook my head and leaned over to kiss his cheek at a red light.

**time skip**

Two weeks to the day we knew for sure I was pregnant we planned the dinner we would tell the team.

The whole morning that day I was so anxious I spent quite a bit of time over the toilet retching up anything I tried to eat or drink.

"Tony, it will be okay." Jethro soothed while he gently wiped my forehead with a cold wet cloth. I sighed and let him lift me up so I could brush my teeth again.

"I wish my stomach would agree. I don't think I can do this." I mumbled as I finished brushing and turned in his arms to wrap my own around his waist.

"How about we get you settled in bed with some water and a movie. Maybe you can get some rest before they all get here?" Jethro suggested gently. I nodded, but didn't move. Jethro chuckled as he easily scooped me up into his arms and carried me to our bed.

"Just relax love, I'll take care of everything." He murmured and kissed my forehead. He left to grab me a water bottle and when he came back he had a movie case with him. I grinned when he turned it on and the opening music revealed it to be my favorite James Bond movie. I started drifting off to sleep before Jethro had even closed the door and the next thing I knew was the ending credits playing while a soft hand caressed my cheek. I blinked my eyes open to see a dark blur above me.

"Abby?" I grumbled sleepily. She giggled quietly.

"Wake up sleepy. Dinner is ready." She leaned down to kiss my fore head then stood up so I could sit up on the bed and rub my eyes. "Let's go down stairs. Ducky just got here and you know how he is when Jethro makes steak." She laughed before grabbing my hand and dragging me off the bed and down the stairs.

When we arrived down stairs I was greeted by everyone. Ziva waved from by the fireplace, Jimmy was sitting nervously on the couch and gave me a slim smile. Tim grinned and waved from his spot on the floor and Abby went to sit in the arm chair he was leaning against.

"Ah, Tony, glad to see you are resting up." Ducky called from the kitchen. It seemed he was helping set up everything on the counters and table. I nodded and shuffled in to help set the table. When Jet appeared with a plateful of steaks he kissed my cheek gently.

"Smells good." I grunted. He laughed and slid the back door closed, having shut off the grill.

"You still half asleep Tone?" He asked teasingly. I blinked at him and sat down at my spot next to his chair. "Dinners on!" He called to the others before sitting down and grabbing my hand under the table. Before we ate Ducky said grace and Ziva murmured a barakhah. (1) We respected their religions and did not want to force them to not observe their practices before a meal.

We ate eagerly, pleasant conversations swelling naturally along with the clinking of cutlery and glasses of wine, or in my case juice. I knew they all noticed it wasn't wine in my glass and I recieved quite a few worried or curious glances. Though Abby smirked every time she caught my eyes and I knew she had figured it out.

Once we had all finished and were relaxing while enjoying a light desert of creme brulee I knew that the time had come to make our announcement. I nervously finished my desert then stood to take all the used dishes to the kitchen. I didn't notice that I had started to clean the dishes until a pair of arms wrapped around my waist.

"It will be fine Tony." Jethro murmured. "Let's leave the dishes to soak and we will tell everyone our good news." I nodded and filled the basin sink with hot water and soap then let Jethro guide me out to the living room where he sat down on the love seat and pulled me down next to him and held me close.

"As you all probably know we have some news to share. We wanted to tell you in a personal way before we announced it to the whole agency." Jethro began. I smiled faintly at the worried glances I got and finally I had the courage, those worried eyes reassured me that they cared about me and wanted to know I was alright.

"I'm pregnant." I announced with a grin. There was only a split second of silence before Abby and surprisingly Ziva squealed and both rushed forward to hug me. Abby kissed my cheek and Ziva ruffled my hair. When they both kissed Jethro's cheeks I grinned at his light blush.

"Congratulations my boys." Ducky laughed from his seat, lifting his glass of whiskey higher to salute us. Jimmy stuttered out his own congrats and the only one left was Tim.

"McGee?" I asked timidly. His blue eyes met mine and I saw only shock.

"I'm going to be an uncle?" He asked quietly. I blinked in shock until the words registered then burst into tears and buried my face into Jethro's chest. Tim immediately started apologizing, but Someone must have shush ed him as he soon went silent.

"S-sorry guys. It's just I'm so glad our baby has you guys. I never had a great family and with you my baby has two loving parents, two amazing aunts an older brother and uncle and a grandpa." I laughed as I wiped away my tears. When I looked up there were only smiles and slightly wet eyes to meet mine. Ducky especially seemed touched, but honestly there was never any better grandpa in the world for mine and Jethro's baby.

"This is the best family there has ever been and I'm so grateful to have you all in my life." I stuttered before having to grab for the tissues on the coffee table. As I was enveloped in another hug from Abby I knew that from then on I wouldn't have to worry about anything. With my family by my side I could take on anything.

Except desk duty. Which they all demanded I take up immediately.  
Why did my chosen family have to be so protective?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Please let me know if this is the proper term for "blessing" the food.
> 
> Please do not hate. I will not respond to flames.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slash chapter! But there is important plot in this chapter so if you want to understand the next chapter I'll mark the beginning and end of the sex scene so you can skip if needed.

"Jethro!" I yelled, my voice betrayed my panic as I stared at the ground. I was sitting on our couch, putting on my shoes, while he was grabbing a cup of coffee to drink on the way there.

"What's wrong Tony?" He came tearing into the room, hand on his gun looking to find someone attacking.

"I can't reach my shoes." I sniffled. I had slipped my feet into the tennis shoes just fine, but I couldn't bend or even sit forward on the couch to tie them. My sixth month belly was just too big. Jethro gently laughed and when he knelt down to tie my shoes I swiped at his head. "Don't laugh at me! I'm fat! This is all your fault!" I crossed my arms over my stomach and pouted at the TV across the room. Soft warm hands cupped my cheeks and guided my gaze down to meet steel grey eyes. I had noticed lately his eyes changed color slightly with his moods.

"You are not fat, my love. You are carrying our child and keeping them safe inside you until they are ready to meet the world. You are protecting the most precious gift you could possibly give me. Never make that any less than it is." Jethro told me in his serious, but loving way. "And yes it is my fault, I'll take credit for this beautiful turn of events. If we were right about the date you were practically unconscious by the time I was through with you." He purred. I shuddered and leaned into his hands, reaching for him. His voice was enough to make me horny lately and I wanted him, Now!

"I need you!" I gasped. Jethro chuckled and pulled me up from the couch.

"We will be late." He warned, but I was already fumbling with my pants and glaring at him.

***BEGIN SEX SCENE***

"This is your fault, you get to fix it!" I insisted. He laughed and then kissed me breathless, somehow divesting us both of our pants without me really noticing until he turned me around and had me lean my arms on the arm of the couch. He knelt behind me and with the first swipe of his tongue melted my bones. I was moaning and begging for more by the time he had three fingers in me and, damn, where had the lube come from?

"You ready?" He asked, voice rough with arousal.

"Yes yes! Please I need you in me!" I begged, thrusting back into his hands and hoping to quickly get what I wanted. Thankfully he guided himself to my entrance and eased into me, sending shudders down my spine. After that, all gentleness disappeared and he began thrusting into me almost snapping our hips together. I was probably broadcasting our activities to the neighborhood at that point, but I didn't care, there was no way I could be quiet while he made me feel like my entire body was made of pleasure.

"Please! Please! Please!" I gasped from where my face was pillowed in the sofa. A hot hand curled around my neglected erection and in two pumps I was screaming my release. Jethro grunted and followed me into orgasm, his hips jerking deeper into me with each wave.

***END SEX SCENE***

"That was so worth being late!" I laughed as we panted in the aftermath. Jethro hummed in agreement before helping me clean up with tissues and a wet cloth then cleaned himself and we dressed again before heading out.

When we got to the navy yard a few people grinned at our tardiness, namely the gate man and the guard by the metal detectors inside.

I was holding together just fine until we got off the elevator and saw the director in our bullpen, waiting for us with a cup of juice for me and coffee for Jethro.

"You boys finally decided to join us? I hope your morning was a little more pleasurable than ours." He raised an eyebrow at Jethro and I burst into giggles. Jethro frowned at me, but I just retreated to my desk and hid behind a cold case file until the director left. Jethro sat down, looking like he wanted to be grumpy, but when I grinned at him he huffed a laugh and returned to doing whatever a 'Senior Agent' does. I looked through eight cold case files and found some leads to run down before lunch, admittedly reading through what happened to the victims made me tear up and sniffle a little, but thankfully McGee didn't comment, but Ziva made it worse by gently handing me some tissues. I tried to scowl at her, but she then bribed me with chocolate.

In the months since I told them I was pregnant I had truly felt supported and loved by my NCIS family. I had yet to tell my actual family, but that was another matter entirely. I knew what would happen when I told my father, but I knew I needed to. Jethro had already told his father, who was over the moon excited for a second chance of being a grandfather.

"Tony, your phone." I jumped, blushing, I hadn't heard my phone or noticed Jethro come so close until he touched my cheek. I fumbled with my phone until I got it to my ear.

"NCIS, Special Agent DiNozzo speaking, how may I help you?" I rattled off without truly paying attention to my own words.

"Tony! It's so good to hear your voice again!" I stiffened in my seat and forced myself to keep breathing normally.

"Andre, pity I can't say the same." I bit back in a clipped tone.

"Now, now, is that any way to talk to your husband?" He purred, the sound far from the beautiful sexual sound that Jethro could produce. I glanced up at Jethro to see him watching me with unreadable eyes.

"No. Sorry." I answered, tryING to sound apologetic. This man could tear apart everything I had built here for myself. I needed to tread very carefully.

"How about we meet, face to face, I would like to see how your pregnancy is progressing. It is so sad the child is not my own, but perhaps we can overlook that." Andre laughed and it sent ice down my spine.

"No! That won't happen." I kept myself from looking at Jethro again, I needed to stay calm.

"Well, perhaps I will have to persuade you. How is that little lab rat of yours doing? Abby, isn't it? Have you seen her today?" Instantly I jumped to my feet and raced for the elevator. I jabbed at the buttons until it finally arrived then jumped in and began mashing buttons until the doors closed and it descended. At the last stop I jumped out and pelted as fast a pregnant person can, to Abby's lab. When I found Abby laying on the ground, signs of a fight around her I screamed in fury. Just as the others came rushing in the phone rang. Jethro grabbed it this time. He listened for a second then slammed the phone down on the cradle hard enough for the plastic casing to crack. I felt frozen in place as I watched EMTs arrive and take Abby to a hospital. Only when they were gone did I notice Jethro holding me tenderly.

"Jet..." I whispered before bursting into tears. His arms tightened around me protectively while I buried my face into his chest. "What do we do?" I whimpered. Jethro leaned down and kissed my hair gently.

"We protect our family. Starting with you telling me why he said he was your husband." I gasped sharply at that and looked up. How had he heard that? I hadn't had the phone on speaker and it wasn't like he could hear from three feet away with all the other noise in the office. How did Jethro find out?

"He called down here just when we got to the lab. He told me to keep his husband safe, that he didn't want his precious Anthony damaged." Jethro narrowed his eyes as I covered my mouth and tried to back away. "Tell me, please, Tony I need to know anything that will keep you safe." Jethro gently urged me and finally I realized he wasn't angry, he simply wanted to protect me.

"I need to sit down to tell you the whole thing." I whispered. In a few moments we were up in a conference room with a recorder primed and Jethro taking notes for a case file. With Abby having been hurt I did not resent that at all. I fiddled with a snack I was handed then nervously sipped at my juice.

"I guess it all starts with my dad." I began quietly. No one made a sound as I told my story.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IF YOU HAVEN'T READ CHAPTER FOUR TURN BACK NOW OR THIS WON'T MAKE ANY SENSE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm telling the story through Tony's pov because it is easier than making the whole thing dialog. Itll go back to normal after that.
> 
> Also
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING!  
> Brief mentions of still birth. It's a very senitive topic, but it is important to the plot, if it disturbs you please stop reading as there will be more mentions later in the story beyond this chapter. Thank you.

Before I was even born I was already a disappointment to my father, no one knew it until too late though. I was born the submissive son of a disappointed Italian conman.

My mother tried her best to keep me safe and well cared for, but as my father beat her into submission she turned to drugs snd alcohol to drown her sorrows. Her death left me wide open to my father machinations. Soon he had made a game of offering me to his wealthiest friends, for a price of course, a very hefty price.

Before long though I was too old for his friends tastes so he sat down with his wealthiest aquantance and struck a deal that would keep him in a comfortable lifestyle for a very long time. I was to be married to his business partners son. At the time I was only ten years old.

For six years I was raised to be the perfect submissive little husband. I was to never speak unless it was required, I was to appear as the perfect trophy, hang on my husband's arm to show his strength and power, and to pop his babies out one after another.

When I turned sixteen I was married to Andre, and then sumarily shipped off to military school to smarten up and learn discipline. But I learned something else instead. For the first time in my life I was away from my father and my new husband was very far away. Instead I had teachers who encouraged forward thinking, creative problem solving and the most important lesson of all, I learned independance.

The day of graduation, which my father and new husband both missed, I ran and never looked back.

I went to a police academy and joined the force, but I moved from place to place often to hide from my past. In DC, Andre had caught up with me and tried to force me back, but my partner had protected me and been killed in his efforts. When Jethro tackled me that day I had been so close to killing myself, but the second he grinned and invited me to work for NCIS I knew all wasn't over yet.

"And that's it really, I could go into gory detail if you want, but I would rather not relive every rape." I finished and took in a ragged breath. I viciously wiped at my tear filled eyes and looked up at the ceiling to avoid the pity filled looks I just knew I was getting from everyone in the room.

"Why?" I jumped at the unexpected question. "Why did you not tell us before now?" I looked at Ziva who was the one to ask, avoiding looking at Jethro. I didn't want to see his pity, or worse his revulsion. I knew I was filthy and didn't deserve his love, but I had no wish to see him agree with me.

"Why should I? My father has escaped being prosecuted for anything. Why would this be any different? You have all met him and he chummied up to you all with no problem. He had you eating out of his hands without any effort and why would that encourage me to confide in you? Why should I trust any of you?" I was nearly shouting by now. "You all ate dinner with him, turned your backs on me! Treated me like a spoiled child! Why should I trust you when you looked like best friends with the man who ruined mine and my mother's lives?" I glared at the now guilty looking agents, still avoiding looking at the one who could break me apart with one look. After I had met each gaze, except one, and seen them look down or away, I turned and fled from the room. I needed to get away from all of this and since I couldn't leave the building due to the lock down I hid in the back elevator and made it stop inbetween floors where I curled up in a corner and buried my face in my hands.

It took me a good hour to calm down enough and psych myself up to leave the elevator. When I finally stepped out of the elevator I noticed only one person waiting for me.

"If you want to end our relationship after what I have divulged, please do it quickly." I said in a very surprisingly calm voice. I nervously rubbed at my belly, feeling our child kick out randomly. "The stress isn't good for me right now." When no response came I forced myself to look up into hardened steely eyes. I flinched back, almost stumbling, but gentle hands caught me and suddenly I was being held in a gentle, but strong embrace.

"Tony, you are the most important person to me in this world. I will not leave your side voluntarily ever and I sure hope you won't leave me. I love you, I love that you are giving me a family. Whatever happens we will get through it together, as a family." I was crying silently by the time he finished speaking so he bent and kissed my tears away then captured my lips with his, kissing me until I felt all my stress and fears melt away and all that was left was my love for the man now cradling me in his arms.

"Let's fix this mess before anyone else gets hurt." Jethro murmured then led me out into the bull pen and helped me sit behind his own computer. "You stay in this spot until I get back." He commanded. I nodded and when he left I turned to the computer and began searching for any clues that would lead to the capture of Andre.

Fifteen minutes later Jethro was back with coffee for him and Chinese take out for me. I groaned in delight as I dug into the greasy savory spicy food that I hadn't even known I was craving until it hit my tongue.

"Update!" Jethro barked at the others.

"Andre Carnaghi, 37 years old, son of the late Severin Carnaghi. Studied at Yale and graduated with two doctorates and is currently listed as heir to his father's legal company, La Corte Fratelli." McGee began. He then pulled up a translate bar, but I beat him to it.

"It means The Brothers Court." I piped up then took another big bite of chicken and moaned in delight.

"Right, so I tracked his two calls that were made today both came from the same number, it is registered under his name and we always record calls so we have that against him at least. I have GPS on him, he seems to think that he is invincible because he hasn't turned off his phone or even gone to a hide out. He is in downtown Washington. I'll give you the address." McGee turned to his computer while Ziva stepped up and gave a run down on Andre's personal life and work life along with his teenage son's. I looked up and stared at the picture of the boy then a wave of anger slammed into me and I stood with difficulty, grabbed my gun and headed for the elevator.

"Tony!" Jethro yelled. I turned to meet his eyes, fuming mad, shaking all over. "Where are you going?" He walked cautiously towards me with his hands raised.

"I'm going to kill that motherfucker." I hissed. "Don't try to stop me!" Jethro smiled and walked a few steps closer.

"I won't try, Tone, after what he did he deserves it. But don't you think the boy deserves more than just a dead father? Doesn't he deserve a better explanation?" By then he had reached me and gently took my gun away which he handed to Ziva before he guided me back to sit at his desk. "We will get him Tony. Then you can meet your baby." At that I burst into tears and reached for his comfort. He held me gently while I blubbered.

"They told me he died! They said he was stillborn! Why?" I sobbed, I looked up at the picture, only to see my eyes looking at me from the face of what could only be my son.

"We will find out, Tony." Jethro promised fervently. "Why didn't you tell us you had a kid?" He asked gently. I covered my mouth and tried to stop crying so I could speak. It took a few minutes and some sips of water before I stopped hiccuping.

"I didn't think it would be important. They told me he died so I didn't want to have to talk about it! No parent wants to talk about their dead children. I grieved for years! It messed with my head! I could feel him in me kicking and having hiccups and playing soccer with my bladder and then he was just gone! I just couldn't handle talking about him!" I turned my face away to hide my tears, these ones felt more private, something the people around me didn't deserve to see because they didn't know what it was like.

"Tony, I know how that feels. Believe me I understand." Jethro murmured. I looked up to see the other agents were busy at their computers. "You know what happened to my daughter so you know I understand what you went through and I'm here for you." Jethro leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "Abby is awake and she is being brought back here, I want you to stay with her. I'm going to get Carnaghi. Be safe." With that he left taking Ziva and McGee with him along with a fourth agent from another team to make up for my absence. Even if I weren't pregnant I would still be forced to stay here because I was too personally involved in this case.

"Tony, let's knuckle down some paperwork for Gibbs, that way all your team needs to worry about is cracking down on that piece of shit." I nodded and went along with the other agents who had volunteered to follow paper trails for my team. It warmed me to see how everyone was chipping in to help, I knew they were doing it because they cared about me. I guess I really was more than just a coworker to these people, they were my friends.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Tony's son will call Tony his mother. I will not change that no matter who complains. Tony is his mother by the definition of the word.
> 
> Enjoy!

Two hours later I was a wreck. I had been kicked off the paperwork team because I didn't do anything except stare at the clock and nervously chew on my nails. Instead I visited Ducky and Abby, who seemed fine other than a few scrapes and a headache, for a while then the director invited me up to his office to nap on his soft couch, which turned into me playing snake on my phone which then devolved into me staring at a picture of Jethro and counting the seconds.

"Too long! They have been gone too long!" I mumbled when the time stretched to two and a half hours. At three hours I was up and pacing frantically while trying to talk myself out of calling my fiance.

Finally at almost four thirty pm, three hours and fifteen minutes after they left, Jethro walked into the office and I instantly threw myself into his arms.

"What took so long? Are you hurt? Are the others hurt? What happened? Did you get him? Is he here in the building?" I asked rapid fire, to stop me asking more questions he leaned down and kissed me. I finally relaxed and when he pulled away I let him speak.

"No, I am not hurt. The others are perfectly healthy as well. I'll tell you what happened while I update the director and no he is not here in the building." Jethro replied, making sure to guide me to a chair in front of the directors desk.

"We got to the location where the phone signal was and found the phone sitting on a prepared table of photos. No one was in the building and evidence of recent inhabitation leads me to believe it was recently abandoned. We have bagged and tagged all evidence which is now going to the labs. We have requested and received video from traffic cameras around the building so soon we will have licence plates to run through the system. I have have a BOLO out on Andre Carnaghi and several other faces that have been seen with him in the last few weeks. I have also sent a team from our New York offices to pick up the boy and bring him here, he should be here tonight at the earliest or in the morning." Gibbs reported to the director. I gasped when I heard that my lost baby was being brought here.

"Why the kid?" The director asked, hardly glancing at me.

"I believe there to be a risk that Carnaghi would try to use the boy against Tony as a way to lure him out. With his attack on Abby we know he is willing to hurt anyone who is close to Tony and our profile on him shows it is likely he would hurt the boy if he thought it would work." I trembled at the thought and uselessly reached for my gun. I wanted to put a hole in that bastard's forehead.

"Very well, keep me updated. As of now the building remains under lock down. We have found the way they got in, but I will not risk letting you leave to go home. Perhaps we can set up a security detail at a hotel for you, but I would rather not risk it. I have sent out a few agents to pick up some supplies and air mattresses are being set up in the conference room for you and your team to rest up on." The director then waved us out of his office. "Oh, Tony, due to your condition you are more than welcome to sleep on my couch in here, I'll have pillows and blankets brought in. I assume you will want to stay in here Gibbs?" Jethro nodded sharply and the director smiled. "Of course. It'll be all set up when you are ready to sleep." We then left and returned to the bull pen where Ziva was slapping her computer, McGee was doing only slightly better with the call he was making, at least he didn't take out his frustration on his phone.

"What can I do?" I asked softly. Jethro was glaring at the picture of Andre on the big screen and seemed to be thinking through all the evidence we had so far.

"Those photos, they were pictures of you." Jethro muttered. "They weren't glamour shots... they were taken of you... naked." His words froze my insides.

"N-naked?" I whispered. I had a feeling they were worse than just nudes.

"You were really young, too young. You were tied up and being hurt." Jethro seemed to be in his own world, he looked so angry.

"Jethro?" I stepped closer and reached out to touch his arm. In a flash he had grabbed my wrist and pulled me close again.

"I don't want him near you again. I know the director is going to try to take me off the case, but I want so badly to shoot that bastard that hurt you and is trying to do it again." He whispered as he held me.

"Don't kill him please. I don't want you to be in trouble. Just nail him and make sure he stays behind bars." I mumbled into his chest. "Go get him." I leaned up and kissed his lips then retreated to my seat.

Fate must have smiled on us then, because an enthusiastic Abby came tearing into the room and brought up a video on the big screen.

"I found him!" She yelled excitedly. She showed the traffic cam of three cars and was able to find two in rental car parking lots. The third was registered to Andre's body guard and according to the FBI satalite was parked outside his mansion just outside of DC. She showed another picture of Andre going into the house. "I had police quietly surround the house and they have eyes on him, last I heard." She bounced excitedly. Jethro looked at me and I nodded. He kissed Abby's cheek, kissed me deeply then he and the team left quickly. When they were gone Abby took it upon herself to keep me distracted, which meant we spent the next four hours watching movies and eating more take out, this time Italian because I wanted comfort food.

When they returned I had dozed off on Abby's shoulder, but when I heard my lover's soft voice I immediately sat up and looked around to find him.

"We caught Carnaghi. He is in an interrogation room." His words were quiet, but it was easy to hear that he was more than ready to start the interrogation.

"Very good, I want Agent David to do the questioning. I'm sure you understand why." Jethro nodded sharply.

"If she fails, may I take over?" I felt my jaw drop. This was the first time I had ever heard him ask rather than demand.

"I'll consider it. Let David try her hand at it first. She is rather good at what she does." The director stood and held the door for Jethro.

"Wait!" I called. Jethro turned and met my eyes. "I want to watch." I demanded. I would watch it one way or another, but I wanted to be there rather than watch on the big screen in the director's office. Jethro nodded and returned to help me get up then we walked down to the observation room where there was a chair waiting for me along with a bottle of water.

I stared through the glass at Andre. He had his hands cuffed to the table, up where we could see them. He was waiting, almost patiently, but I could see his leg bouncing. I could tell he was nervous, scared.

At exactly nine pm on the dot, Ziva quietly entered the room, which Andre didn't notice, then slammed the door closed behind her. Andre jumped, staring at Ziva as if he didn't understand where she had appeared from.

"Good evening." She murmured. "I hope you are comfortable." She sat down in the chair across from him and even though I couldn't see her face I knew she was smirking.

"A-actually I could use a trip to the bathroom, and these cuffs are too tight I can't feel my hands." Andre answered almost drawling if it weren't for the stutter at the beginning. Ziva slammed the case file down on the table, making him jump.

"Good." I knew she would look murderous at this point. "I want you to look at these photos and tell me yes or no, do you know the man in them?" She placed down three pictures and Andre's eyes went dark. He looked up at me and for a few heart stopping seconds I thought he could see me through the glass, but he then looked back down after Ziva repeated her question. "Yes. He's my husband, Tony." I growled at his words, only stopping when Jethro gently massaged my shoulders to calm me down.

"Are you not the one hurting him, abusing him, in these photos?" She purred dangerously. He looked up again and smirked at the glass.

"I want a lawyer." He demanded. Ziva stood and left the room without a word.

"Dammit." McGee hissed. "We will never get a confession now. I hate lawyers." I tried to smile at him in sympathy, but I was too shaken, I had expected him too call for a lawyer. If he used the same one his father did then we would never nail him, that lawyer was too good. He kept Severin out of jail even with all the evidence stacked against him. With the straws we had we couldn't even slap a fine on Andre. A confession would be the only thing to put him away at this point.

"McGee! Get a warrant to search the New York residence, Ziva, get one for the DC mansion. I want every scrap of evidence bagged and in Abby's lab by tomorrow. Call down to security and have them delay the lawyer as long as possible." Jethro barked as he flipped open his phone.

"Fornell, get your ass working on anything that I can nail this bastard with for at least tonight. I will not let him slip away on a technicality." I stood with difficulty so I could follow after him.

"When did Fornell get involved?" I asked once Jethro was done barking orders to everyone.

"When you and Abby became the victims." He replied gruffly. "Now I know you want to be involved, but I can't let you help on this case anymore. I need you to go and get as much sleep as you can, I'll come and tell you if anything big happens. I promise." I nodded, unhappily I might add, and waddled my way up the stairs to the director's office where the promised blankets and pillows were waiting. I somehow managed to find a comfortable position and settled down to sleep.

Surprisingly I fell asleep and slept through the rest of the night. I only woke when I felt a gentle hand comb through my hair and lips tenderly press a kiss to my forehead.

"Jethro?" I mumbled. I yawned and stretched to get the kinks out of my back then settled down again. When I blinked up at my lover he smiled.

"Good morning, Tone, sleep well?" He asked as he handed me my small decaf coffee I was allowed every now and then. I greedily inhaled the scent of my favorite blend and took a sip, moaning at the flavor.

"This couch could use some more stuffing." I finally answered. "I have the worst knot in the middle of my back." I pouted which made Jet chuckle.

"Would you like me to work it out for you?" He asked silkily. I felt heat shiver down my spine then frowned again.

"No, because then I'll want sex and there isn't any comfortable place to have sex here except this couch and there's no way I'll risk having the director or anyone else walk in on us like that. So I'll just live with a sore back and you can live with knowing it's your fault." I nodded decisively then took another longer sip of coffee. Jethro shook his head and chuckled.

"We managed to pin Carnaghi with a big enough crime that we were allowed to put him in a holding cell. He's been there since three this morning. His lawyer screamed himself red in the face, but we kept just barely on this side of the law with it all and he has no leg to stand on. We just need to keep Carnaghi there, and since the judge has decided to be unreachable and didn't post bail for him he is stuck. For now." Jethro grinned and it took me a moment to regather my thoughts, his smile always made me forget everything except sighing like a lovesick teenager in their first relationship.

"What did you get him with?" I asked finally, Jethro sobered and gave me a solemn look.

"I had to use everything I had, Tony, I couldn't let him get out and run." He grabbed my hand and held it in his warm grip. I gestured for him to continue. "We charged him with hindering an investigation, with-holding evidence, and underage aggravated rape of a minor. We are waiting to hear back from a judge on whether we can charge him as an adult for statutory aggravated rape charges." Jethro gently revealed. I felt like ice entered my veins, but I nodded anyways.

"Anything to get him locked up and kept off the streets." I finally could no longer keep myself from asking the question burning in my mind. "Jethro, is my son here yet?" I whispered. I almost didn't want to know. I didn't know what I would do or say. How do you make up for years of absence?

"He got here an hour ago. We had him writing down everything he can remember about his father talking about you. He knows your his mother." Those last words made my heart skip several beats then pound frantically.

"What do I do? What do I say? What if he hates me?" I gasped, grabbing Jethro's hand tightly with mine.

"Easy now, breathe slow and deep for me. Let's get you some water first. Then you can go meet him." I nodded and obediently drank half of the cup of water he handed me.

"I need to see him." I murmured, finally as calm as I could get for now. Jethro helped me stand and together we left the office and slowly we descended the stair case. I refused to look up from the next step down until my feet hit the floor of the bull pen and I could no longer use the stairs as an excuse. I slowly lifted my eyes and gasped when I saw him. He was standing next to my desk, obviously having stood up when he saw me. His hazel eyes watched me with almost no emotion, but I could see he was nervous. I raked my eyes over him, making sure I could see no injury.

"Hello, mother." He murmured in a low respectful voice. My hand flew up to cover my mouth and I barely held back a sob.

"Luka." I heard my voice crack, but I managed to hold it together until my son moved forward and held out his hand to shake mine. It broke my heart and I didn't know how to handle it. I glanced at Jethro, but he didn't seem to have any ideas so I reached out and placed my hand in Luka's. He gave it a small shake then pulled away, but that was the last straw. I rushed forward and wrapped my arms around him.

"Oh my baby, I thought you were dead!" I sobbed, threading my hand into his hair and pulling him close. He was so warm, warm and alive in my arms and it was much more real than I expected, it was too much and soon I was laughing and crying as I peppered his face with kisses. "I'm so sorry I never came for you, they told me you were stillborn and I was so scared and lost. I didn't know they lied. I'm sorry baby. Please forgive me? Will you forgive me?" I pulled back and cupped his cheek, desperately looking into his eyes, exact copies of my own. He looked a little overwhelmed and if I weren't swimming in pregnancy hormones I would feel mortified of my actions, but all I could think of was my baby here in my arms at last, alive and healthy.

"Tony, come and sit down." Jethro finally murmured after a long silence. I bit my lip and nodded when I realised Luka wasn't going to answer me. I allowed Jethro to guide me to my desk and when I looked over Ziva was with Luka and she was guiding him to the break room. I looked at Jethro and felt my eyes fill up with tears.

"How can I fix this?" I asked, my voice croaking with the effort to not cry again.

""He is only fourteen, give him time and show him you are going to be there for him. File for custody and we can show him that he has a home with us." I nodded and turned on my computer to send an email to my lawyer detailing everything and asking him to start the paperwork and to call me when he was ready for signatures to finalize it. I knew we would have to go to court, and at his age Luka would be asked where he wanted to live. His father wouldn't be an option, but I knew his grandmother Carnaghi, Andre's mother, was still alive and would probably take him if given the chance, she never approved of my marriage to her son.

"Jethro, what if I loose? I have nothing to offer him? I'm just a stranger who happens to be his biological mother. I gave birth to him. What does that matter to him when he was raised by Andre? That man probably taught him to hate me! He probably thinks everything I say is a lie! Why should he believe me, it's not like I was there for the last fourteen years!" I practically yelled. "I missed his first words and his first steps, I missed the first day of school and the first lost tooth! I missed Christmases and birthdays! I might have even missed his first date! I wasn't there Gibbs! Why would he ever choose me over everyone else in his life?" I punched my desk, and punched again and again until Jethro stepped in and yanked me into a tight hold where I couldn't do anything. So I did the one thing I could and started crying again.

"I can't seem to stop crying." I hiccuped. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess." Jethro gently tucked my face against his neck against rocked us both back and forth.

"It'll be okay, Tone, you'll see. It'll all work out in the end." Jethro kissed my exposed cheek then laid his head on top of mine, still rocking us.

"Mother?" Luka's voice jolted me out of my slightly calmed state. I jerked away from Jethro and turned to see my son holding a coffee and some animal crackers. "I got you some snacks. Ziva said you might be hungry." I nearly mauled him as I dragged him into a tight hug.

"Thank you, sweet boy." I kissed his cheeks and fixed his hair and straightened his shirt, smoothing out wrinkles and just trying to excuse me needing to keep touching him so I knew he was real and really there.

"Um..." Luka was blushing and trying to squirm away.

"Oh right, here let me take those. Do you want to sit down? I can show you some games to play on my computer if your bored, I might have some books laying around. Are you hungry? We can get take out, whatever you want, how does that sound, baby?" I hurried to usher him to sit at my desk and I nervously ruffled through everything I could touch trying to find something for him to do, but also to give my hands a job besides weirding out my estranged child.

"I'm fine mother." Luka assured me, rolling his eyes. I stepped back and glanced helplessly at Jethro.

"Oh... well I'll will just let you... yes... well I need to go powder my nose, pregnancy and all that... I-I.... I'll be right back, Luka... um if you need anything... just ask... um..." then I turned and waddled away as fast as I could. When I reached the bathroom I hid in a stall and used too much toilet paper to wipe at my eyes. This was so much worse than I ever thought. My baby boy was alive and he was here and I could see him and hear him and touch him and make sure he was safe and unhurt and healthy. But no matter what I tried he seemed so distant. Maybe I really wasn't good with kids at all. I always thought I was awkward because all children reminded me of loosing my baby, but maybe it was because I truly didn't know how to handle kids.

"Tony?" I jumped a little at the sudden voice, though I instantly recognized Ziva.

"What?" I asked, sounding miserable just like I felt.

"Tony, come out please, I dislike talking through doors, even skimpy American bathroom stall doors." She requested. I laughed, it sounded a little flat, but I stood and unlocked the door. "Good, now stop that blubbering. Your son is out there and you are in here hiding. Go out there, try again. Do not stop trying until you have shown him he can trust you. He is fourteen years old, he is not going to suddenly jump into anything especially coming from where he was raised. It will take time, but it will be worth every last effort. Trust me, you can do this." She then fixed my hair and straightened my shirt and I laughed at the parallel of just moments ago with Luka. I splashed my face with cold water and dried off then together with my personal pep talker I waddled back out to the bull pen.

Luka had opened a soda and was munching on some chips, watching something on the big screen, it looked like a movie, but I didn't pay attention to what it was. Instead I sat at Jethro's desk and watched my son, he didn't seem to notice I had returned. Eventually I propped my chin in my hand, elbow on the desk, then folded my arms and rested my cheek there, and eventually I fell asleep still gazing at my son, my miracle baby.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So... please don't kill me?   
> I promise I have a sequel planned and already in the works. This was just the end of the first.
> 
> Dedicated to Barbara who asked when I was going to complete it. Here's the last chapter hun, hope you enjoy.

"Did he really think I died as a baby?" Luka whispered. I pretended to be asleep still, keeping my breathing as even as possible. Someone had draped a blanket over me and placed a pillow under my head which was much more comfortable than my arms or the desk.

"Yes. Your mother was not treated very well by his family, they hurt him a lot then sold him to your grandfather. They made him get married to your father." Jethro murmured. I almost sat up, just so they would stop. I didn't want Luka to hear that. My innocent baby, didn't need to know that horrible story. The only thing that stopped me was Luka's next whisper.

"I don't want to go back to New York. Grandfather Severin had me all set to go to military school next year. Father didn't say I had to go, but even if he's dead Grandfather would still get his way. Mother wouldn't make me go to military school would he?" I held my breath, hoping Jethro would reassure him.

"Your mother only wants you to be happy. If you don't want to go to military school then I am positive you won't be forced to go." Jethro responded confidently.

"Do you think he would let me have drawing lessons? I always wanted to draw, but Father said only pansies draw. He took away my sketch book that I got from Aunt Zia." My heart broke at hearing how my son was treated.

"I'm sure your mother will support you in anything you want to do. If you said you wanted to build a rocket out of sticks and take it to the moon, your mother would find a way to make that rocket fly for you. He loves you very much and all he wants is to make you happy and to love you, if you let him." It sounded like Jethro stood up and then he walked over to me and gently shook my shoulder.

"Tony, time to wake up. You won't get any sleep tonight if you sleep any longer. We have take out, Indian this time. I got that coconut curry chicken you like." I slowly blinked my eyes open and yawned, pretending to slowly wake up. When I stretched the kinks out of my back I caught Jethro grinning at me. I blushed, know he had caught me eavesdropping, but he didn't say anything to Luka so I didn't feel too guilty.

"Luka, do you like Indian food? We can order you anything you want." I quickly offered. I watched my son blush, he glanced at Jethro, then shook his head.

"No thank you, mother. I like curry, thank you." He then returned to his food which I'd hadn't noticed before. He was sitting cross legged in the middle of the bull pen, eating his curry out of a take out box while watching another movie.

"Do you... would it be okay to join you?" I asked hesitantly. He eyed me and nodded, before returning to his meal. I couldn't help my happy grin and with some difficulty I managed to sit cross legged next to him. I knew I would need help getting up again, but it was worth it to me.

"Curry, mother?" Luka asked, ducking his head as if he were shy, he held out a container that had my name written on it.

"Thanks, baby." I stopped myself from ruffling his hair when he scowled, instead I took the box. I peeked at him when he wasn't looking and saw him blushing with a small smile as he ate. That made me grin and I looked at Jethro excitedly. He smiled back and winked.

"Is Gibbs your boyfriend?" Luka asked with a grin. I looked at him and blushed.

"Um, well, he is my fiance." I mumbled. Luka frowned in confusion.

"But your married to father, aren't you? You can't marry Gibbs if your married to my dad." I felt frozen in place, dread filling me. I hadn't really thought about that. My marriage to Andre had been so long ago, not to mention I had refused to think about it for so long that I hadn't even considered it to be real... I stared down at the floor, trying and failing not to hyperventilate.

"Tony, look at me." Hands cupped my face and I found blue eyes in front of me. "Breathe, breathe with me." Once I had my breathing under control again Jethro sat next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"We will take care of that when it comes up. Right now let's focus on getting Carnaghi in prison, then we can work on everything else." Jethro murmured. I nodded, took a few sips of juice and looked up to see Luka watching us with wide eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly. I nodded and held out my hand to him.

"Sometimes I have panic attacks. I'm fine, darling." I reassured him and in a move that stunned me, but made me incredibly happy Luka scooted over and pressed into my side, allowing me to wrap my arms around him. I soaked in the feeling of absolute joy as I closed my eyes and held him tightly.

"Isn't this sweet?" I glared up at the offending voice, which turned out to be Fornell, and even worse he had Andre with him. I ignored them as Jethro helped me stand then I turned back.

"Fornell, do you practice turning up at the worst moment possible?" I asked, absently wrapping my arm around Luka and hiding him behind me.

"It's an instinct, Dinutzo, one I'm quite happy to indulge in. Gibbs, where do you want him." He jerked his head back at Andre and for the first time I looked at the man. He was staring at me, his eyes roving up and down my body. I snarled at him and it only made him smirk.

"Hello, my husband dearest, having a good time with our son?" He asked all too smugly.

"I am not your husband! We may be married but there is nothing you can do to make me yours." I snapped. His eyes flashed with anger for just a second, but long enough that Jethro saw and stepped forward.

"Take him to our office." He hissed. Tobias smirked and grabbed Andre by his arm. They both led Andre to the back elevator and even though they knew it was covered by a camera and microphones Andre didn't, so I quickly brought up the feed and put it up on the big screen. Then I remembered Luka. This man was his father.

"Luka, I want you to know your father is mostly safe. Those men only want to keep you and I safe. As much as I want you to believe your father is good, I can't lie to you. He has done some horrible things and he needs to pay for it, by going to prison." Luka nodded and allowed me to hold him again while we watched Jethro and Tobias flip the emergency stop switch and give Andre a verbal dressing down.

If Luka wasn't there I would be staring at Jethro. Watching him be all domineering and dangerous was my favorite part of working on a case. He just made me want him so badly. But right then I was more focused on my son, so I chewed on my nails while Luka watched the boys fight over who would get to kill Andre in prison.

"They wouldn't really kill him would they? I mean that FBI guy looks like I could take him out. I wouldn't be surprised if Gibbs would do it though." Luka asked, sounding half nervous and half like he wanted to laugh.

"No. They are using a scare tactic. If Andre realises how much trouble he is in and confesses he might get a lighter sentence. But without the confession we don't really have enough evidence to put him in prison for more than a few years." I admitted. Luka nodded.

"I feel guilty, but I want him to pay. He told me what he did to you when you were my age. He said he would do it again if he ever got a chance." Luka admitted in a small voice.

"Oh, baby, it's okay. I won't let him near you again, unless you want to see him." I promised, kissing his hair and holding him tighter.

"Can I come live with you?" Luka whispered. I closed my eyes and slowly breathed out to calm my instant rush of happiness.

"Of course you can. I would love to have you live with me. As long as you are okay living with Jethro too?" I asked nervously. Luka nodded and wrapped his arms around me tightly, though I could tell he was being careful about my baby bump. "Tell you what, let's get McGee to make a mockup of your room and he can help us design it. Maybe Abby will help too, have you met her yet?" I asked eagerly.

"I met Timmy, but not Abby." He informed me with a small grin.

"Oh, she is just going to eat you up. Not literally I promise, but I bet you ten bucks she tells you that she is your new big sister." I laughed at his instant wrinkled nose. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll like her. Everyone does, that's the Abby charm, you can't help it." I grabbed his hand and pulled him with me to the elevator in the front, since the back elevator was still being used.

Of course I was proved right the second we walked into the lab and Abby glomped Luka with a bone crushing hug.

"Hi, little bro! I'm so excited to meet you! You're like a mini me, except it's actually a mini Tony because you're his son and holy crap I had no idea you even existed, and Tony knows better than to keep secrets from me, so he has a lot of explaining to do." Abby sent me a glare and I shook my head. I would tell her later, maybe, I didn't want to get into it at the moment.

"Mother said you could help me design my new room at his house." Luka shyly admitted. I smiled as Abby visibly brightened.

"Totally! One killer room design coming right up. TIMMY" Abby dragged him over to her computer where McGee was already pulling up the program we usually used to remake a crime scene digitally.

"Hey." Arms wrapped around my waist from behind and warm hands cradled my own hands where I was resting them on my belly. I leaned back and hummed happily.

"He asked to come live with us. I hope you don't mind, I was thinking he could have the spare room, he's figuring out what he wants it to look like, is that okay? I should have asked you first I know, it's your house, but I know you wouldn't turn him away really, but maybe you don't want another kid when we have our own baby on the way and I understand that, but I can't face having him live somewhere else now that I've got him back. Jethro please, tell me it's okay?" He let me babble until I finished and caught my breath then turned me around in his arms.

"It's more than okay. I wouldn't have it any other way. Now we can give him a real family, one that will accept him no matter what he does." Jethro kissed the tip of my nose and I grinned.

"Family, I like that." I sighed and looked to see Luka watching us while Abby gesticulated about some sort of painted design for the feature wall. He grinned when I winked at him then returned to his planning. "We are going to be one heck of a family." I laughed, Jethro must have agreed, his chuckle echoed my own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you, so much all of you who made it to the end with me, especially ShadowWolfsDen, you are an angel. I promise I'll upload the first chapter of the next story soon and you'll like it a lot I know it.
> 
> Catch you on the flip side. ♡


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